it sucks to be feeling like this.
never felt the same since the 1st time i failed any maths examinations.
yes. it's nothing much to get sad about.
but it just shows my incapability.
ain't i supposed to be good at this.
well, at least im glad i did not announce that i was somehow related to this field.
lest i get all the disappointing looks towards my results.

but at least i did attempt it on my own?
with a little bit of help here and there.
but at least not wholesale copying from other resources.
i do have my integrity.
and i intend to keep it.

this is just not right.
screwed up. the whole system. is screwed up.
i presume most people are doing so to avoid getting punishment which might work against them.
while a few would be trying pathetically to aim at the reward?
well, i admit i am also aiming for the reward, but it seems further and further away and i decided to let it go.
im just still putting in my best so that i wont regret.